181%

Long time no (informative) blog. I wonder what percentage of blog entries start out that way. Why is it that people can't stick with doing something that they only do in the first place because they want to? I guess it's because they get too busy with the things they have to do, like go to work. Which brings me to this awful thing that happened at work this week. First, I suppose I should explain that I have been working at two different crisis units--one for adults and one for kids--and I much prefer the one for kids, which is called Walker House. Things at the adult unit are very chaotic, and part of the reason for that is because we are understaffed and in need of more "paraprofessionals" to answer phones so that the therapists can concentrate on doing therapy and not have to be interrupted by phone calls. There has apparently been a lot of drama regarding this issue, such that something had to be done. And by "something had to be done" I mean that I have to give up everything about my job that I love and only do the 1% that I hate. Every day. For a month at the least. Starting next week, I don't get to go to Walker House anymore at all. I'll only work at the adult unit, and all I'll do is handle the phones--"helpline" calls, mobile crisis "dispatches," etc. No more therapy. It's intensely disappointing. Doing therapy has been so, well, therapeutic for me. I love it so much. For the past few months, being a therapist has felt like the one thing in my life that really makes sense, that really feels right. Not that the rest of my life is "wrong," mind you. I'm in a fantastic relationship, but it's long-distance and therefore not quite as satisfying as it could be (and will be soon enough?) Being a youth leader is, I suppose, the "right" thing to do as well, but I feel about 80% incompetent and approximately 100% ineffective. I'm a far-away girlfriend and a wannabe youth minister, but I've gotten to be an actual, real, live, therapist. But not anymore. I guess I knew all along that it was too good to be true. I knew I was spoiled getting to do therapy with no master's degree and basically no supervision; I just thought I was going to be spoiled for a little longer. :(

I just noticed I've used percentages like 4 times. Weird. Too much reading of technical, scientific things, i.e. boyfriend's thesis? Perhaps.

More later. Apparently, I'm going to have to get back into this blogging thing gradually...